When it comes to forming intimate relations with a member of the opposite, our relationship path tends to take a standard route. There’s initial attraction, flirtation, courtship, intimacy and ultimately exclusivity. When two passionate romantics get together, the linear time frame of love can speed up to a hyperactive pace because both are ready to wear their hearts on their sleeve and follow the instant gratification of feeling fine.
This is the inherent danger zone of love. Moving from casual to serious at lightning speed has its consequences – the sex might be magical, but the couple may not share similar interests or goals. The latter is the stuff you get out of the way in the “courtship” phase.
If you feel like you’re new fling is moving way too fast, then now is the time to slow down. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Sure, you might be going backwards, but toning it down a notch will help you reach a conclusion about your potential future with this person. Here’s how you do it:
Spend time outside the bedroom
Its 2012, the figures of men and women having sex on the first date have shot up dramatically, and what’s happening is that many relationships are forming out of this undeniable fact. However, having sex too soon throws people off when it comes to forming an emotional connection. If you slept with them, but actually think you might like them, then now is the time to start dating and actually getting to know one another with or without the promise of sex.
Avoid spending every waking moment together
Burning the candle at both ends will result in a fiery yet short relationship. If this is not what you want, then we recommend cooling it down by cutting back on the communication and seeing less of each other. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we actually like a person until we start to miss them. If you pull away and miss more than just the sex, then you there might be hope.
Talk about the future
When in doubt, talk about how you’re feeling. Approach the issue in a delicate way by saying, “I feel like we’re really jumping the gun here, is there any way we could slow things down.” They might agree with you, and you can both make a proactive to change the dynamic of the relationship.