When we start sleeping with someone new, it can be utterly thrilling and wonderfully. For most couples, sex in the beginning is very “vanilla” as both partners have yet to reach a comfort level where they can explicitly share their fantasies. This is to be expected, and is certainly takes time to reach a trust level where you can confess all your inner sexual demons.
So let’s say you’re into something kinky, maybe you like to be spanked, handcuffed or choked? Or perhaps you have a foot or latex fetish? When and how can you tell your partner about this without them thinking you’re some type of pervert?
It’s a risk you’ve got to take, and you’ve got trust that your partner likes you enough to experiment with new things. Or perhaps, they share the same fetishes and were waiting for you to say something. Either way, finding that perfect sexual can be tough so you might as well have the conversation sooner rather than later and here are some words of wisdom to get you through it.
Slowly introduce your kinky side in the bedroom
Of course, this depends on your kink. We’re not saying pull out a collar and leash and start barking like a dog right away. That shit is too soon. But, if you are into rougher sex then just start doing certain tricks that are mildly suggestive of your desire. If you’re a guy, spank your girl and see how she reacts. If you’re girl, ask him to go harder and take charge by going on top and putting your hands around his neck. Small things that don’t reveal all but suggest you have a darker side.
Have a conversation about your sexual fantasies
This has to come up when a considerable amount of time has passed , and you feel confident discussing your fantasies with your partner. Let the conversation take place in a natural setting, maybe even watch some porn together and say “I’ve always wanted to try that” it will get them thinking without you having to say very much at all.
Be prepared for a bad response (initially)
We’re not saying that your partner is going to turn you down because if they like you, they will be down to please you – especially if they’re the experimental type. But you must prepare yourself for the worst, and not freak out if they say “no”. People need time to digest potentially shocking information. Its job to inform and dissuade any stereotypes they may have about your fetish. Give them time because they may just come around.