You’ve met someone online. You message them all the time. You chat back and forth on regular basis. You want to take things to the next level, but you’re too shy. Fear not, this happens to a lot of online dating users.
It can be scary to take your interactions to the next level, especially when you have no idea what a person will sound like over the phone. When we have real-time interactions, it can be a total game changer. Because in the online world, you have time prepare your words. On the phone, it’s just you and your thoughts. Long pauses are awkward and never conducive to good conversation.
The secret to taking your relationship to the next level is timing, and agreement. You never want to prompt the idea of a phone conversation too soon because it could look desperate and creepy. Instead, it’s imperative to wait until your interactions are at a level where both of you feels comfortable talking online without any qualms. This can often take weeks, so it’s important to remain patient no matter how interested you are.
When it comes to popping the question about a phone conversation, you’ve got to be prepared for the fact that many people feel uncomfortable giving out personal information online. Your cyber connection should really be strong, and your level of intimacy should also be deep. When dropping the phone bomb, say it casually, as if it wouldn’t make a difference whether you spoke to them on the phone or online. Saying something like, “You sound so sexy. I’m dying to hear your voice” is never going to work. Rather, keep it casual and say (at an appropriate time), “I think we have great conversations, it would be great to chat on the phone sometime – If that’s cool with you?”
If they say they aren’t interested in taking things to the next level, then it’s your call to decide whether it’s worthwhile to pursue your connection. If you just feel like they need time, then keep the communications cyber. But be aware that they might not be very attracted to you. In which case, you should move on.